Too Beautiful for the Alpha

Chapter 28

Setting down the diary, I look at the clock and see that it's almost time for dinner. Needing a break from

Julianna's thoughts, I get up from my bed and make my way to the door, wanting to see if I can help

Theresa prepare. Just as I reach for the door handle, it opens. I jump and notice James on the other

side. "Oh, hi, I was just going downstairs to help with dinner," I say, feeling my heart calm down.

"Sorry to scare you," he says, coming inside, "but my father insists on helping with the pack until I'm

fully healed. He wants to come over tonight so I can brief him on recent issues, so you can't be here."

I nod, slowly. "So where will I go?"

"Theodore is going to keep you busy until he leaves. The gathering is tonight so I thought he could take

you to that. It will only be for an hour or two."

"Uh, okay. When should I be ready? When will he be here?"

James glances at the clock. "Ten minutes."

"What? Really?" I mutter and immediately turn to the closet, digging for my signature gold dress. "You

didn't know earlier?"

"No, this was all very last minute," James says, seeming quite rushed himself.

I find the dress and close the closet door, saving as much time as possible. Quickly, I pull off my

pajamas and slip on the dress, not bothering to turn on the light, I stumble in the darkness. Managing to

zip it up halfway, I step out of the closet and turn my back to James. "You have to zip me."

I gather up my hair and hold it above my shoulders as he gently finishes the job. Before I can step

away, he turns me around and his eyes wash over the gold fabric. "I remember this," he murmurs. "You

were wearing this that night."

"It's kind of a tradition for me to wear it to gatherings now," I say lightly, trying to move on from the topic.

James doesn't take his eyes off of me and I feel my cheeks grow hot. His hand lingers on my arm. "I

was cold to you. I didn't even say anything."

"If it makes you feel better, I was clumsy and lame," I say, recalling my tripping and falling as my Luna

called me from my hiding place in the trees. I looked like a total fool.

"You were beautiful. You are beautiful, Rae."

I pause, feeling my chest grow tight. An uneasy, unpleasant feeling bubbles up inside of me, almost like

a panic. Part of me doesn't like this, part of me wants him to stop. Old Rae is being slapped in the face,

and she's ready to fight back, not willing to agree. My fingertips turn numb and I scrunch up my hands

into fists, not sure what to say. He said I am beautiful, James said I am beautiful and deep down I am

begging him to shut it. "Oh, uh," I struggle, "I—uh—Theodore's going to be here any minute, I better go

downstairs."

I swipe a pair of shoes from the closet before hurrying past him and slipping out the door, though I

know he is following me. As if I'm being chased, I rush down the steps and race to the foyer, nearly

knocking over Theresa in the hall. "Careful, Rae," she breathes out and I glance back.

"Sorry!"

"What's the hurry? Where are you off to?"

I stiffen as James reaches us. "I'm going to the gathering."

"Theodore's taking her," James cuts in, explaining in depth. "I'll be meeting with my father while she's

gone."

"He still doesn't know about her?" Theresa asks, which catches James by surprise.

"No, he doesn't. We're waiting for the right time," I improvise, covering for him. "I think that was the

door, I think he's here, I better go."

"I didn't hear anything," Theresa mutters.

"Well, I'll wait for him outside. I could use some fresh air."

I back away and spin around, needing some time to think, but knowing that there will be no time for it

while I'm surviving another gathering. I wish I could forget about my plans of productivity and lock

myself in my room. Who needs a friend? I've been fine on my own. I've managed.

Leaning against the wall outside, I close my eyes and listen to my surroundings, using the few seconds

I have to calm down. Just as I feel my shoulders relaxing, the front door opens and James comes out.

"Was it something I said?"

Internally sighing, I shut my eyes again. "No. Nothing is wrong, I'm just waiting for Theodore. You

should get ready for your father."

I hear the door shut, but I know he's still here. Frustrated and overwhelmed, I give him a look, and not a

nice one. This is it, this is when I push him away because I don't know how to handle things. At least I

can admit it to myself. "I just want to be alone."

I knew this wasn't going to be easy, getting over my past beliefs. Old Rae is still here, in that deep, dark

crevice of my mind, and I can't just ask her to leave. It's hard not having a room to run to when I need

to be alone, and it's even worse now that I have to attend another gathering with Theodore, a guy who

probably hates me. At least I've learned to not run off into the woods anymore, not unless I want to lay

under a dead wolf.

"Rae," James coos, ready to work the truth out of me, "will you at least tell me what I did?"

He only infuriates me more. Now what? I tell him that I don't want him to call me beautiful because I'm

all screwed up? I pour out my past for him to dig through me? I'm supposed to be strong now, the

Alpha, the girl who doesn't get stepped all over, but how can I show him that if I toss in that I'm

romantically crippled? How do I stay strong if I bring up my times of self-hatred and convincing of a life

alone? I'll cry and he'll see that I'm weak and all of this self-improvement will seem ridiculous. "You

didn't do anything," I mumble. "I just—I have a headache."

Even now, even when I think I'm protecting myself, I feel guilty. How can I expect the truth from him if I

can't even give it? Am I consciously burying myself?

"I can call this all off," he offers. "I don't want to make you go out if you're not feeling well. Would you

feel better if you went to bed for the night?"

It was so much easier to hate him before. "No, don't do that. It's not that bad. Like you said, it's only for

an hour or two."

"Okay, but if it gets worse just tell Theodore and I'll send my father home."

I look up at him, the guilty feeling growing. "Okay."

My eyes wander forward to see Theodore walking towards the house. He's dressed nice, and my mind

shifts back to the gathering. "I'll see you in a bit, alright?" James says, sending me off.

"Okay."

I glance back at the house, back at James as he stands at the door, watching us walk away. I follow

Theodore to wherever the gathering is, and he doesn't say a word to me. Needing to be in a good

mood for this, I try and lift the awkward silence. "At least I'm going with the plans this time."

I wait for his agreement, but he continues on.

"Hey, I'm sorry about what happened with Claire. I shouldn't have crossed that boundary."

Theodore peers back, not showing much emotion. "Well she's going to be at the gathering, so let's try

and keep a distance this time."

I throw my head back, staring up at the moon as it ducks behind clouds. I swear, the moon goddess

hates me. This may be one of the few things Julianna and I have in common.

It takes a few more minutes to arrive at the building, one similar to where the gatherings were held at

my own pack. As expected, the inside is cluttered with white tablecloths, glasses of wine, young people

and sparkling dresses, everyone dolled up to look their best if meeting their future. Theodore scans the

room before diving inside, and I jump in his splash, not wanting to handle this alone again. At least Belonging © NôvelDram/a.Org.

someone is here to keep me from the alcohol.

Theodore is cautious, probably on the lookout for his sister, and I spot a very comforting table tucked in

the back. Grabbing his arm, I lead him to the table and he watches me as I take a needed seat. "Don't

you want to dance or converse or I don't know, talk about the other girls or something?" He sits down

beside me and I nearly laugh.

"No, Theodore. I have a specific way of handling these kinds of things."

"By not handling it?"

I scoff. "Yes? Look, this just isn't my preferred pack activity. Dresses and talking and dancing and

flirting and mates and all of it just isn't for me."

Theodore leans back, looking quite curious. "I thought you'd enjoy this, being the Luna and all."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, every girl here dreams of being in your position. Most Luna's just walk around and greet people,

rubbing it in their faces."

I fight back a smile. "That's terrible."

He shrugs. "After all their backstabbing, I'd take a victory lap."

I give him an amused look.

"Hey, I can't stop Claire from rambling about her issues. Sometimes I overhear things."

"Well, I'm not very outgoing."

Theodore scans over the crowd again. "So what do you do at these things then?"

I shrug. "Get drunk. It makes it all go by faster."

A smile comes to his face, and I can't help but smile myself. He gets up and leans toward a man

carrying a platter of glasses and grabs two. He sits back down and places one in front of me. "Aren't

you suppose to watch me and make sure I don't get myself into trouble?"

Theodore sighs and takes a sip. "I trust you."

Together we sit back and swipe wine glasses and rant about stupid things like the gathering and finding

mates and the plummet of expectations. After a bit, I ask, "So you haven't found your mate?"

He shakes his head. "Not yet."

"What if she's here?"

He waves me off. "I would have known already."

"Maybe we should double check."

I get up and force Theodore with me, abandoning our empty glasses and venturing off into the crowd.

With our arms linked, and with my newly gained courage, I approach a random group of girls. "Good

evening. I'm your Luna, Rae East, and this is my personal guard, Theodore. I thought I'd come

introduce myself to the pack members."

One of the girls speaks up, "Wait, Alpha Grant found his mate?"

The others look at me with judgmental eyes. "Yes," I carry on, the only way by amusing myself. "It was

a pleasure to meet you girls," I mutter, wanting to move on and not even asking their names. I yank

Theodore as I move on. "So it wasn't one of them?"

"No," he laughs. "But maybe you should use an accent like you're British. I think they'd be even more

intimidated."

I roll my eyes and bring us to a new group, this time with boys in the mix. "Ello—I mean, hello," I even

cough a little and Theodore tries to escape, but I hold onto him. "I'd like to introduce myself as your

Luna—yes Alpha Grant found his mate, and yes, it is me." I glance up at Theodore and he shakes his

head, telling me his mate isn't here. "Well, goodbye."

We hurry off like two children and I pull us towards more people, but Theodore holds back. "This is

ridiculous."

"No, I think it's working."

"Oh really?" He says dramatically and grabs another glass from a person walking by with a tray. "I don't

think so."

"One more," I smile, holding in my laughs, trying to be serious. "If she's not in this group, we'll stop."

He sighs and drags me to the people. "Hello, I'd like to introduce myself as your—" I immediately stop

when I look up and come in contact with Claire. Her eyes are wide and Theodore swiftly straightens up.

"Oh, I didn't mean—" Before I can defend myself, I flinch as Claire lunges toward me and her drink

splashes all over my dress, chest, neck, and face. I freeze and gape as I look over the red wine.

"Claire!" Theodore scolds.

"Are you serious?" I breathe out, fuming. This mixed with all of my wine can't be good for me or her.

"Who do you think you are?" Theodore grabs my arm but I yank it away. "No, I don't think you

understand, Claire. Forget James, forget all of it, I am your Luna. Who do you think you are throwing

your drink at your Luna?"

Theodore pulls me back and Claire turns away with a glare, disappearing into the crowd.

"She can't do that! I'm her Luna!"

Theodore brings me to the door, everyone's eyes glued to the scene. "Come on, we're leaving now."

"She should leave, not me! Let go! Theodore, let go of me!"