The Glimpse of My Past

Liam’s P. O. V.

Diane was quick enough to grab my two arms before throwing up straight to my chest. Standing in front of her, I froze at my position while slowly internalizing what she did. Now I realized that nothing could beat my love for her… even the tailored price of this coat.

How I wished that I was able to record everything that Diane had said. She confessed that she would never let me go and she would fight for me no matter what. That alone brought a confident smile to my lips, and just like what she admitted to me in the car earlier, my heart jumped again out of relief and satisfaction.

It was actually shallow, knowing that Diane was even drunk at this time, but I would never trade that promise for anything else. Although she vomited at my favorite coat, I seemed not to smell her retch over my chest. It doesn’t matter anymore as I could easily buy a new coat. I loved her! I just loved her with all my heart, and that was what mattered most.

“Nana, I’m sorry for the inconvenience here… but can you perhaps clean up Diane and change her clothes? I will be the one to take her in my old room.” After she threw up, Diane lost consciousness in my arms.

“Hey, you will never be an inconvenience to me! It’s nothing, son. It’s just as easy as one-two-three. Don’t worry… and I will take good care of her,” Nana replied with a sweet smile on her face after removing and wiping all of Diane’s spew on my clothes. 

“Thanks, Nana. You’re always there for me when I needed you most.”

Carrying Diane in a bridal style, I sauntered inside the house and took her to my old bedroom on the second floor. Nana Lydia immediately followed us while holding a white towel and a small container full of what I thought was warm water.

“Just leave your coat in the laundry area, and I would be the one to take care of it later on. I would have to ask some dry-clean shops here tomorrow,” Nana instructed with a smile. I was indeed blessed with her.

Nana Lydia no longer served our family, but she was always there, ready to serve me whenever I asked for help. Growing up, she raised Leandro and me more than our real mother, who was always in America and would just come home for a short vacation here.Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

Nana acted as our mother, who used to attend every general assembly or parents’ meeting way back in our elementary and high school days. The truth was I looked up to her more than my real mother.

“Thanks again, Nana. I will just wait in the living room while you’re taking care of Diane here,” I uttered. I was about to leave the room when she spoke.

“By the way, how’s Leandro in the States? Is he okay? The last time I went to the mansion, everything was a mess,” Nana worriedly expressed.

“Hmm, he’s fine. He just came back, and I think he will be flying soon to Davao.” After that, I exited the room and closed the door, preventing Nana Lydia to ask any further questions regarding Leandro.

I took off my coat and long-sleeved polo, leaving myself half-naked before I went downstairs and headed to the bathroom. Since there was a cabinet in the bathroom where my old clothes were placed, I went straight to take a cold shower.

It was what I told Nana. I should have my spare clothes down here in the bathroom. Just in case, I was wandering outside then suddenly thought of visiting her, at the same time, wanting to take a shower right away, then I would have no problem accessing the bathroom as soon as possible. No more hassle for me to go upstairs and use my old bathroom. 

It took me a while before I was done with my shower. I just wore a black brief, plain white T-shirt and blue denim shorts. I was currently waiting in the living room when I saw Nana Lydia coming down the stairs while holding the small container and the used towel placed on her shoulder.

“She’s okay now, Liam. It was really good that Kyla and Diane had almost the same size. If not, then I would let her wear your T-shirt instead. Anyway, have you eaten yet? What do you like to eat, son? I will prepare it for you.”

“Oh… don’t bother anymore, Nana. I’m perfectly fine, and I’m actually on a diet. I will just go and check Diane upstairs. I might sleep there too,” I told her. If Diane wasn’t able to eat her dinner, then I wouldn’t eat too.

“Oh, okay! But if ever you need something… just knock on my door, okay?” She spoke.

“Alright, Nana. Have a good night’s sleep.” I kissed her cheek before I hurried upstairs to see Diane. I made two steps of the staircase into one.

Afraid of waking her up, I carefully opened the door before I quietly approached her. I sat on the edge of the bed and lovingly ran my fingers on her smooth and flawless cheek. Whatever she wore definitely suited her, and although she doesn’t have any makeup at all, she was still so beautiful.

It was how she exactly looked like when I first saw her-she was sleeping soundly while lying on my couch. If only I had the power to bring back the past, what had happened couldn’t have happened way back. What had happened would not have been the ugly beginning of us.

But hadn’t Steve and the rest of my friends took her to my condo unit on the eve of my birthday, would our paths have crossed then?

Please forgive me, Diane! my mind screamed as pain wrapped my heart.

After heaving a deep sigh, I kissed her on the forehead with the conviction that I would tell her the truth as soon as possible. I wouldn’t wait for Leandro to intervene again, and it would be much better if Diane would hear it straight from me.

Then, I stood up, restlessly flopped my body into the couch, and positioned myself to sleep when I heard Diane suddenly screamed.

“No! Please… don’t!” It was then followed by her anxious tussles on the bed.

I immediately approached her, and in just a blink of an eye, I was already by her side. Carefully tapping her cheeks, I warily spoke to her.

“Diane, you’re just dreaming. Shh… hush now, sweetie. I’m here… Liam is here, and I won’t ever leave you.” Because of what happened, I had decided to lay my body next to her.

It lasted for just a few minutes before I got reassured that Diane was able to sound asleep again. Unconsciously, she moved and even squeezed herself to me. I felt how warm she was, and it prompted me to finger-comb her hair and kiss her forehead.

It was the same scenario on the first night we met again. I remembered the time when we decided to spend the night together in an inn because we got stranded. She was also dreaming then-the main reason why I wasn’t able to sleep properly.

Is it connected to that one filthy sin I did to her? Was she really traumatized before? God, no! It was all my fault!

I remembered giving Diane a dream catcher last year as a gift. I just hoped that it truly blocked her bad dreams.

What happened to her-dealing with her recurring dreams, or worse, nightmares-had been one of the consequences of my insane action, and God knew what could be the rest. If only I didn’t drink with my friends on that night, it would never happen. I would have never taken Diane’s virginity carelessly. I would have never raped her, and I would be the one to drive her home way back then.

Blaming myself and being miserable, I didn’t notice that I already shed a tear on my left eye because it was me who caused Diane’s misfortunes. I ruined her, and it was indeed unjustifiable.

For now, I dismissed my thoughts. I wanted to be the one to take good care of Diane, that was why I decided to sleep beside her. I let her pillow my right arm while I tenderly draped the left around her waist. I even planted soft kisses on her face.

Don’t worry, Diane… hang on. I will tell you the truth as soon as possible.