Chapter 48: Cold Blood
Chapter 48: Cold Blood
EMMA’s POV :
I pushed the stall door open and my friends were waiting on the other side.
They stared at me in nervous anticipation.
"Well, what is it?"Tiff asked cautiously.
"What does it say?" Carrie followed.
"I'm..."I couldn't bring myself to say the words out loud.
But one look at my face and my friends knew the answer.
"Shit,"Carrie muttered under her breath.
"Let me see,"Tiff said and she took the stick from my hand.
She saw the result and muttered, "Shit,"
"Are you sure you did it right? Maybe you need to take it again,"Carrie said.
"That's the second one,"I shook my head weakly,
"The first one’s inside the box," Tiff shook the box violently and the other stick fell out.
She went to the floor to grab it and she let out a defeated sigh when she read the result.
"Guys...what am I gonna do?"I croaked and tears trickled down my face.
"Oh, Em..."Carrie was at loss for words.
She just stepped towards me and pulled me into a hug.
I had no more energy left in me.
All I could do was lay my head on her shoulder and cried some more.
"Hey, these things can be wrong, right?"
Tiff argued, looking around the box for more explanation.
"99 percent accuracy.It can be wrong!"
"What are you trying to say, Tiff?"
Carrie asked as she caressed my hair.
"We should go to the clinic and get another test done.Nick's older sister works at the clinic downtown, maybe we can go there?"
"Emma, do you wanna go?"
Carrie asked as she tilted my face up.
"We'll go with you?"
At this point, I didn’t know what else to do.I didn’t have the energy to disagree with anything they say.And since Tiff and Carrie were convinced that I should do it, I conceded.Meekly, I nodded my head.
The next thing I knew, we were at the waiting room in this small clinic downtown, filling up papers on why I was there.
Tiff and Carrie were my rock.
Carrie helped me with the paperwork and Tiff held my hand the entire time.
Tiff would give deadly glares at anyone who would look at me and try to figure out what was wrong with me.
After filling out paperwork and waiting for about an hour, I was finally allowed to see Dr.
Clara Webster, Nick’s older sister.
According to Tiff, Nick had three older sisters and Clara was the oldest and smartest.She graduated from med school at the age of 24.
At 25 years of age, Dr.Carla was now doing her residency at this clinic.
She was wearing these thick glasses and her hair was neatly tied in a ponytail.
She was kind and all, but she was always serious.
She didn't let Tiff and Carrie inside the examination room, but she assured them that I would be fine.Dr.Carla took one look at my chart and she immediately knew what was up.
She checked my pulse and my breathing and everything, and throughout it all she was just stoic and quiet.
The only time she spoke to me was to tell me that she needed to collect a urine sample, and so I did as I was told.
I peed into a little cup and handed it back to her.
Then I was back in the waiting room again, waiting for the result.
Tiff and Carrie were still there and they had raided the snack machine.
They got all kinds of chips, sugary drinks, candy bars, and a tub of yogurt.
It might take a while for the result to come, so I sat with my friends and munched on food.
At least my stomach was able to take them now.
As sad as that might sound, the snacks were probably the highlight of my day so far.
After another hour or so of waiting, I was called again into the exam room.
My body got all stiff as I was nervous.
Tiff and Carrie smiled reassuringly and nodded at me.
Taking a deep breath, I got up and I walked back into the room, repeating the same prayer again and again.
"Emma, have a seat,"Dr.Clara instructed and I complied.
"So...?" I asked cautiously as she went through the papers in her hand.
"The results are in, you are pregnant,"she stated firmly.
"A...are you sure?" was all that I could say.
Tears were pooling around my eyes again.
The past few hours had been brutal.
I had been trying my best to deny the fact that I might be pregnant.
I kept telling myself that there was still a chance I might not be.
But this, hearing the doctor said the words out loud, it was as clear as day.
There was no way out of this.
"Yes, I'm sure.I'm sorry, Emma.I realize this is not the answer you were looking for,"
"Doctor, I...I can’t have a baby," I stammered bitterly.
"I have to get rid of it," "You're not even going to think about keeping it? There are other options, like adoption"
"No!" I shook my head quickly.
She looked at me for a while and let out a deep sigh ,
‘Well, unfortunately, we don't do that here," She handed me a box of tissue and I grabbed it.
Tears were falling to my cheeks and I wiped them off briskly.
"The good news is that you're still in the early stages of the pregnancy, perhaps around four weeks.You're also over sixteen years of age, so you can deal with this on your own without your parents present, if you want to.Though there’s nothing else I can do for you here, I can recommend some clinics that do the procedure.Would you like that?"
"Yes, please,"I nodded.
Tiff, Carrie, and I sat in my car in the clinic’s parking lot for the longest time.
I told them about the result and they went dead silent.
I just stared blankly into space as Carrie held her head down and Tiff looked away.
"What are you gonna do?"Tiff spoke finally.
"What else can I do? I have to get rid of it,"my eyes darted to my flat stomach.
I'm sorry, you, whoever you are that’s inside me.Bringing you into this world will bring too much pain and suffering to many other people.Maybe it’s selfish, but I can’t let my parents down, I can’t let lan down, and I can't let myself down.I have my future all mapped out and you're not a part of it.I’m really sorry.
At that moment, I knew that I had made my decision.I grabbed my phone and the brochure that Dr.
Clara gave me and punched in the numbers.
"What are you doing?"Carrie asked.
"I'm calling Planned Parenthood to set an appointment,"my fingers were typing furiously and my other hand was holding onto the brochure so tight, I was basically scrunching the paper into a ball.
"Emma, slow down,"Carrie said as she gripped my arm.
"Emma, stop,"Tiff followed and took the phone and paper away from me.
"I can't do this, guys.I can’t have a baby.There’s no way!"I trashed my head back to the leather seat and more tears trickled down my face.I thought I was done crying, but turns out there was more.
"I know, we know,"
Carrie said, pausing for a moment before continuing, "But, this is a big decision, it's not something you can just decide on when you're this emotional.Think about it,"
"I've thought about it, Car, this is the only way!"
I groaned in frustration and I tried to reach for my phone again, but Tiff wouldn't give itto me.
"Well, okay then.But, before you do anything, I think there’s someone you need to talk to first...He deserved to know," She was right.
Even if I had made up my mind about it, lan deserved to know.
I slumped back on my seat and let out a deep sigh.
Tiff slowly offered my phone back to me and I took it with a heavy heart.
"Hey? What is it? You said there’s an emergency?"
lan raced towards me as he saw me enter the apartment.
He held me in his arms and I looked up at him, and suddenly I couldn't speak.
I had a speech all planned out while I was in the car on the way over here, but now I couldn't remember anything.
He narrowed his eyes and studied my face.
With worried eyes, he asked again, "What is it, Emma? Tell me.You're scaring me,"
"lan,"
I croaked, I didn’t know where and how to begin, so I just said,
"I'm sorry,"
"What?"he looked at me, perplexed.
"I'm sorry, I’m..."I couldn’t say that word. I just couldn’t Say it.
"What, Emma?"he pressed on
"You're what?"
"I'm...pregnant,"I said finally.
The word came out like a whisper, but he heard it.
He heard it loud and clear.His eyes darkened and his mouth fell open.
He tightened his grip on my arms and said, "Are you being serious right now?"
"I..."
I wanted to speak but the tears pooling in my eyes were getting in the way.
"Emma?!" He was practically yelling at me at this point.
Tears ran down my face as I nodded my head.
His eyes widened instantly and for a moment he just stood there in shock.
"Fuck!" he growled,
"How did this happen?!"
"I messed up...I forgot to take the pill..."I said in between sobs.
"Fuck!"he backed away from me and raked his hair in frustration.
His breaths became labored and he had one hand rubbing his temple.
"How far along are you?"he said lowly.
"Maybe four weeks give or take, the doctor won't know for sure unless I take more tests,"
"The doctor?"
"I took a pregnancy test earlier and it came back positive.So, I went to the clinic just to make sure.I was there just now and I came right over,"I explained. All text © NôvelD(r)a'ma.Org.
I was trying to search his eyes to get a reaction, but he kept his gaze down, avoiding eye contact with me.
"Shit, Emma!"he muttered, and suddenly his fist curled into a ball and he punched the wall next to him, yelling "Fuck!"
He was yelling curses and punching the wall in anger and frustration.
I just stared at him, unable to do anything.I didn't get why he was this upset.
Honestly, would it be so bad if we had a baby?
"lan, stop,"
I said as I stood behind him, wrapping his body with my arMs.His body relaxed as soon as I held onto him.
His labored breaths were slowing down as I buried my face on his back.
He stopped punching the wall but his fist was still up there, all bloody and battered.
Maybe if we keep the baby a secret...we could do it like we did our relationship.
No one at school has to know who the baby’s father is.
I could defer college for a year to take care of the baby.
lan and I could live together and raise our little family.
After a year, we could all move to the east coast and start over.
I could still go to college.
It would be nice to start a family with him, and to have his baby...
Now that I’ve thought of it, that doesn't half bad.
I pulled away slightly and I gripped him by his shirt, tugging him.
He let out a deep breath before turning around to face me.
My hands reached for his face and I asked, "lan...what are we gonna do?"
"We're not gonna have a fucking baby, that’s for sure,"he scoffed.
"Why not...?"
"Because you're fucking high school student and you're going to college in the fall.And I'm still your fucking teacher!" He cursed and pushed my hand away, leaving me again.
"If people found out about us, I can go to jail, Emma! Do you know that? Don’t be fucking delusional!"
"Yeah, but "I was about to explain my point of view, but lan cut me off quickly.
"I can drive you to the clinic if you want, to get rid of that thing,"he said coldly.
He couldn’t even look at me in the eye as he said it. That thing...why did that sound so horrible coming from him? He didn’t want anything to do with this baby, that was for sure, and it was rightfully so.
But still, I couldn't help but feel a little hurt.
With all the strength I had left in me, I shook my head and said, "No, it's okay.I'll have Tiff and Carrie come with me,"
"Are you sure?"he looked up at me this time.
"Yes,"
"When are you gonna go?"
"As soon as possible.Tomorrow after school,"
"And you'll come here after?"
"Sure,"
I said bitterly. lan caught the bitterness in my tone and he fell silent.
I walked to the door as I thought there was nothing else that we could say to each other at this point.
"I'm so sorry, Emma," he said before I left the room.
"Me too,"