Stealing the Heart of Mr. Steele

Chapter 53 [Atlas]

None of this feels real.

We've been searching for Cordelia for over a month now and still haven't found any solid leads. The police have started to hint that maybe she doesn't want to be found, that she disappeared intentionally.

Their other suggestion is one I don't want to think about-that she was taken by whoever poisoned her and that she might already be dead,

I refused to believe that. I need to belleve that she is still out there, with our baby, somewhere safe but hidden, waiting for me to find her.

I've placed a framed picture of her on our wedding day next to the bed. Every morning I look at it and wonder how things could have been if I had given that shy girl a chance to love me and be loved in return.

She was too young to be getting married, only 19. As a bachelor in my 30s, I should have known better. But my grandfather had wanted the match and when Angelica disappeared, her younger sister seemed to be the best option at the time. I promised myself not to ever get emotionally involved, to protect brother.

I never thought I'd grow to love her.

like a

Because underneath the anger over Angelica's accident and disappearance, underneath every moment of disappointment, behind every argument with her, I was falling in love with my wife.

Unfortunately, it took losing her to see what I had lost.

And now I may never have her back.

No, I can't let myself think that way. I will find her.

And when I do find her, when I get another chance, I intend to show her every day how much I want and need her. I will shower her with all the affection I kept hidden away, afraid to feel, to love, and to lose again. I will be there every step of the way, protecting her and our child.

And maybe in time, she'll grow to love me too.

Clark invited himself over to the house this afternoon to "catch up." I haven't seen him much since she disappeared, and when I do, his words are brief and blunt. He has been strangely distant since Cordelia left, unable to look me in the eye. It reminds me of when he was much younger and his behavior when doing something wrong.

Guilt. He feels guilty about something..

Today he's ready to show me whatever it is he has been working on related to finding Cordelia. Based on his message, he thinks he may have found something and I'm both worried and excited to see it.

He arrives around lunchtime, his arms full with papers and technology. Nervously he sets it all down on the dining room table, next to the bowl of grapes and the platter of sandwiches that April prepared for us. I know he isn't trying to punish me, but watching him prepare whatever it is he needs to show me is putting my nerves on edge. I'm so close to snapping at him that I need to take deep breaths to remain

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"So before I show you what I have," he starts folding and unfolding his hands, wiping them on his pants nervously. "I want you to know that I realize what I did was wrong. That said, had I not done what I have done we'd have nothing to go on so... "Just get on with it," I grump, Interrupting him. The longer he talks the closer I am to panicking.

He turns on his two laptops which he has connected to one another. They begin streaming data in several small windows, each one taken from a different point of view.

And on every screen there is Cordella. In some scenes she is happy, but in most, she looks heartbroken and sad.

"I've been surveilling her, and you, for several months now," Clark confesses. "It began before I moved back home for good. It started innocent enough, I just wanted to check out how you've been and..."

My vision starts to blur as my blood pressure rises. "Why is so much of this footage of Cordelia?"

"About that..." he swallows. "I was worried about her. I always worry about her. I can't stop thinking about her."

"Clark..." I stand, clenching my fists. "Are you trying to tell me that you're the one who has been stalking my wife?"

Clark takes a big step back, his hands up ear his face defensively. "No, no, it was nothing like that. Yes, I was watching over her, but no, I wasn't stalking her. I'm not weird like that. I...I just care for her." He looks down at his feet, his cheeks flush with embarrassment. words. "You care for her?! This looks like you're obsessed with her!" I shout, watching him flinch at my know I should be grateful that my brother is being honest with me, but the more he talks the angrier I become and the less capable I am of thinking clearly. Clark gulps. "I've been a little bit in love with her since the moment I met her at your wedding," he admits as he takes another step back, speaking quickly in a rush to get all of his thoughts out before I punch him unconscious.

"I mean, I guess it's more like a crush," he amends when he looks up and sees the expression on my face. "She's never encouraged it. From what I know of her, and from everything I've observed, she's always been faithful to your vows. She has never even looked at another man. If there is anything I learned from watching her all these years is that she is devoted to you."

"Wait,

you said you'd been watching us for a few months, but now you're saying it has been YEARS?"

"Not like this!" he insists as he waves his hands in the direction of his monitors. At first, it was much less...

intrusive."

"Why...?" I start to ask, but then stop when I see the anger brewing in his eyes. Anger directed at me. "When I met her, I saw that she had been crying at something you had said. On your wedding day. I told her she should walk away but she insisted on staying and following through with the arrangement. Even then I could see she was more than a little bit in love with you, although as far as I'm concerned, you never deserved her love." "You treated her so poorly that day," his eyes are cold and accusatory and I find myself shrinking back. "I

was worried about her, worried that she might do something to herself in her grief. So I became her friend."

"But I'd never betray your trust by actually approaching her with my feelings," he looks me in the eye, his face completely sincere. "I would never do that. I have too much respect for her to turn her into an adulteress."

Needing a moment to process all that he just said, I walk back to my seat, lean my elbows onto the table, and place my face in my hands.

Oh, Cordelia. You deserved so much better.

"Atlas..." Clark's voice is small, uncertain. "When you're ready, I'd like to show you what I found."

VictoryAnne Vice

Author

Clark finally comes clean! Let's hope this means he has something to share that can help the brothers band together and save Cordy!

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