Married At First Glance: I Am Not Ugly

Why wasn’t he happy to see Jessie who he claimed he loved so much? Why was he thinking about Marissa and felt he missed her so much?

“Alex what the hell are you thinking huh? Why are you thinking about another woman when you have a great woman? Are you falling out of love for Jessie and falling in love with Marissa?” he asked himself as he rolled around on his bed as sleep refused to come.

The night dragged on and Alexander tossed and turned, unable to sleep. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop thinking about Marissa and what she meant to him.

He knew it was wrong to feel this way, especially since he was in a relationship with Jessie. But he couldn’t help it. He felt a connection with Marissa that he couldn’t explain.

It was like she understood him in a way that Jessie never could. He felt comfortable around her, like he could be himself without judgement. But how could he tell Jessie any of this? She would be heartbroken, and he didn’t want to hurt her. He felt so conflicted and confused, like he was stuck between two worlds.

As he lay there, he tried to close his eyes hoping he would fall asleep, but he couldn’t as he thought about Marissa staying alone in that big apartment that night.

He took out his phone and wanted to call her, but changed his mind when he checked the time and realized that it was really late.

He placed his phone back on the side table close to his bed and lay himself on the bed to sleep.© 2024 Nôv/el/Dram/a.Org.

Being married to Marissa even though it’s fake, he actually was enjoying it as she was nice, caring and understanding.

He thought about how easy it was to talk to her about anything, even the most personal things. She always listened and offered her honest opinion, even if it wasn’t what he wanted to hear.

And somehow, that made him feel even closer to her. He knew that he could trust her with anything. But what did that mean for his relationship with Jessie? He felt torn between two very different women.

As he lay there, his mind started to wander and he found himself thinking about what it would be like to be married to Marissa for real. To wake up next to her every morning, to share meals

and experiences with her. To build a life together, to face the ups and downs of life together. And as he thought about it, he realized that he couldn’t deny how much he was drawn to her. He couldn’t deny the chemistry that they had.

But then, his thoughts drifted back to Jessie. He remembered how he had felt when they first started dating, the excitement and passion that he had felt. But now, he couldn’t deny that something had changed.

He still cared about her, but it felt like the spark was gone. He felt guilty for feeling this way, but at the same time, he couldn’t help it. He wondered if maybe it was just the distance, the fact that he hadn’t seen her in person for so long. Or maybe it was something else, something deeper. He wasn’t sure, and it was all so confusing.

As he laid there, lost in his thoughts, the door to his room opened and Marissa walked in. He sat up and looked at her, a million questions running through his mind. She just looked at him and smiled, her eyes warm and full of understanding.

“I thought you might be having a hard time sleeping.” she said, her voice soft and soothing. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Alexander hesitated for a moment, not sure if he should say anything. But then he realized that Marissa was the one person he could be completely honest with, without fear of judgment.

So he opened up, pouring out all of his thoughts and feelings. He told her about how he felt about her, about how confused he was about everything. And as he talked, he felt a weight lifting off his shoulders.

When he finished, Marissa was quiet for a moment, and then she spoke.

“So you are in love with another lady, Alexander?”

He looked and realized that he had been imagining and that it wasn’t Marissa who was sitting beside him but Jessie.

“Oh my god! What am I gonna do to tell her it was not what she thinks?” he asked himself as he stood up from his bed.

“It’s not what you think, Jessie.”

“You’re not going to tell me that you weren’t just imagining another woman instead of me, right?” Jessie asked, her voice shaky and hurt.

“No, it’s not like that! I was just daydreaming and she is not who I think of, you are the only woman in my life.” he tried to explain.

“So you were just thinking of someone else, someone that is not me, when I’m here with you. Am I not good enough for you or what?”

Alexander felt his heart sink. He had never seen her like this, and he hated himself for hurting her like this. He tried to reach out to her, but she stepped back.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just…” he trailed off, not sure how to explain what was going on in his head.

“Just what? Just what? You were thinking of another woman, someone who is not me, someone who doesn’t even exist? I can’t believe it.” Jessie said, her voice breaking.

“It’s not what you think Jessie. I love you and only you. Just believe me.” he said.

Jessie looked at him, her eyes searching his for some sign of truth. Finally, she spoke.

“I want to believe you, but I’m not sure I can. It hurts so much to hear you say that you were imagining another woman. How am I supposed to trust you after that?”

Alexander felt his heart break into a million pieces. He had never wanted to hurt her, and now he had done just that. He didn’t know what to say to make it right.

“Please give me a chance to explain. I know I messed up, but it’s not what you think Jessie.”