Healing The Ruthless Alpha

Chapter 51

I felt suffocated, there was no other way to explain it. Cahir had made me into someone who did not come out of the house- ever. The only time I stepped out of the Alpha Castle was to visit him in the pack house and that happened only once. There was no reason for that. In fact, he called me in for a minute and then sent me away. It felt as if he wanted me to know that my life was in his hand and he could order me around as he liked. That day, Sebastian came with me and he didn't hide the fact that he was displeased to be guarding me rather than his Alpha.

"Good morning," Laura said to me as she took the seat opposite me. She had made it a habit to visit me as many times in a day as she could - which was always once or twice as she was busy. She had relevance in this pack while my mate made it clear my only purpose was to do as he said and warm his bed at night!

"I feel trapped, " I answered Laura's greeting with a declaration.

All my life, I had never been one to sit still and do nothing. I worked and I worked then I worked some more. That was my reality but now, when I entered the kitchen, I was met with a bombardment of people trying to feed me and the first and only time I asked if I could help them in any way, the kitchen had fallen silent and everyone stared at me with half-opened mouths until I walked with coloured cheeks.

Laura said they didn't mean to be rude, just surprised that Cahir's Luna would volunteer to work in a place like the kitchen. I understood their reasoning but the silence that greeted me that day still haunted me.

"Did the Alpha really say you can't leave the house?" Laura asked and I nodded in response.

He has not said it in so many words but the first time I ever came out of the house, he told me there was no need for me to.

"Did you ask him why?" I shook my head in response. The shame from his words had kept my mouth shut. "When he returns today, you can ask him why. I am sure he has his reasons, or you can even visit him in his office today. I am sure he will appreciate the surprise. " Laura wiggled her brows with a smile that I didn't return.

Maybe I didn't communicate well but she tended to trivialize everything I said about how Cahir made me feel. It made me think I was overreacting or being childish to feel this way because no matter what I said, she always made it seem as if I was reaching or that I did not try hard enough to understand him.

Breakfast with Laura ended on a sour note because I zoned out of the conversation which revolved around Cahir and all the magnificent things he had done after he succeeded Alpha Boston.

That night, I went to sleep in my room. The bed was cold and Asena did not want to sleep alone but I didn't listen to her. If I shared a room with Cahir, nine times out of ten, we ended up having sex but this night, all I wanted was to be alone with my thoughts.

"I told you to stop using this room." That voice.

"Leave me alone." I pressed my face into the bed and put a pillow over my head the second I heard that voice. I knew he would come to find me but I hoped he would allow me the privacy of my room at least once.

"Why did you disobey me?" He pulled the pillow away from my head. I tried to hold on to it but my strength was nothing compared to his.

"I just want to sleep tonight." I was forced to face him when he lifted me off the bed and placed me on his thighs as he sat.

"You can sleep in my room. I told you to sleep in my room from now on." His tone caused a shiver to race down my spine. He was getting quieter as he spoke.

"I want to sleep alone. Can't I have that too?" I asked. Tears stung my eyes before I knew it. He took out a handkerchief from his breast pocket and wiped my tears as they fell.

"Are you uncomfortable sharing a bed with me?" He asked.

That was a problem. I wasn't uncomfortable sharing a bed with him. The minute he walked into a room, I felt better. All my worries and hatred about how he treated me took s backseat and I became calm. I was so much more comfortable in his bed than in mine but everything now messed with my

senses.

I wanted to have time alone to evaluate how felt. In truth, misery had been my biggest company for the past week and eded to clear my head. I wasn't happy. I felt trapped stifled, as if I could not

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breathe freely. A part of me felt as if was wasting away, like the clock was ticking while I remained in the

same spot without any clear plan on

how to move forward.

In Cahir's arms, my wolf deluded me into thinking all was well in the world and I was safe in his arms but when he left in the morning, I remembered that he was the most dangerous man on the pl.

Perhaps I was going crazy, perhaps I was asking for too much, but everything was beginning to look like a jumble that made my heart beat fast while I was stuck in a deep well without any means of escape.

"It's not " I started in a shaky and whispery voice. "Yes, I am uncomfortable sharing a bed with you," I answered.

The words I wanted to say could not be said because I didn't know how best to communicate them. I told him twice already that he made me feel like shit and every time, he got angry. I didn't want to make him angry. My wolf could not bear his anger.

"You should have said that from the beginning." His time was quiet but this time it was different from the quietness that signified his building anger. "Do you -" His voice shook and my eyes widened. "Do you regret mating with me?"

Something inside me stilled. My wolf. Asena withdrew at the implication of that statement, leaving me with nothing but my feelings and none of hers. Did she - even Asena wanted to know the answer. Shit, even I wanted to know the answer!

"Maybe -" I paused to get out the right words. I felt vulnerable. His tone made him seem vulnerable. "I think -" I paused again.

There was no way Asena would be content to not mate with Cahir. Our mating was inevitable. The bond between us was strong despite us not getting along well but I couldn't help but feel like I allowed myself rush into mating. I should have gotten to know him first, and built an understanding with him before

mating. Now, when things went sour and there was no escape for me, I felt even more trapped. That,

coupled with his overbearing

personality, suffocated me.

"Don't answer that. Rest well." He lifted me from his thighs and put me back on my bed. He all but raced out of the room, his long legs striding fast out

of the room as if he knew I would say something he didn't want to hear.

There he went again. Every time I tried to express myself, he left. He never gave us a chance to communicate and it made me even more bitter and frustrated.

I had a fitful sleep that night, tossing

and turning as nightmares from Silver Moon plagued me. I woke up the next morning feeling tired with eyes bags underneath my eyes. When Dwent down for breakfast, I met Aristo flirting with one of the girls. His eyes lit up when he saw me and when he came over, an idea hit me.

Aristo was nice and friendly. He would help me, wouldn't he?

"Hey, Sia," He sauntered over to me with a flirty smile. "You look ravishing." Yeah, he would help me.

I decided then that eded to go somewhere quiet and serene whether Cahir approved or not!