Chapter Thirty Three
Madison forced the nearly stale piece of bread into her mouth and forced herself to chew on it.
It was all she had at home now and she had no wish to spend the little money she had left with her, as it would barely be enough to feed her for a week, so she was trying to manage.
When she finally managed to get the bread down her throat she downed two glasses of water and then lowered herself onto the bed. She was exhausted.
Her talk with Alvarez had triggered her and now she was in a phase of self loathing and pity. She had no desire to do anything either.
Earlier this morning, Mrs Sterling had come knocking to check up on her, but Madison had pretended to be asleep until she gave up. She felt bad about the whole thing but she couldn’t help it. After a while of laying on the bed Madison decided to get up, and stretch her legs a little.
She had done literally nothing the whole of today, and even though she had thought of taking a stroll outside, she had decided against it since the weather was too cold for that right now, and coupled with the fact that she wasn’t safe out alone anymore given the strange man in the bushes from the other day, Madison could already see that her idea was a lost cause.
As Madison tried to make up her mind, a knock sounded on the door, jolting her from her thoughts. Thinking it might be Mrs Sterling trying to check up on her for the second time today and already feeling bad, Madison quickly opened the door.
“Mrs St…” She broke off, words failing her as she stared at the male figure in front of her.
Sucking in a sharp breath, her legs suddenly felt wobbly like it would give out from under her, and it took all the strength she had in her not to shrink away from him and bang the door close.
“Mason?” She finally managed to say.
Her eyes roamed over her elder brother’s face, noticing the subtle changes, and her chest tightening painfully at the same time. She hadn’t seen him in a long while, neither had she had any form of contact with him whatsoever, so what was he doing here? She wondered.
He was staring back at her too, his expression cold, and Madison couldn’t help but suddenly feel like a little girl again. She instinctively wiped her sweaty palm on her clothes, and made way for him to get in all whine without saying another word.
Accepting the invitation, Mason walked into the house and from the way his eyes scanned the room when he got in, Madison could clearly see the contempt and disgust in his eyes.
The house was suddenly feeling smaller than it was with Mason standing in it, and Madison swallowed heavily.
“Would you like to s-sit?” she asked, hating that her voice was trembling, and instead of Mason to say anything he only glared at her.
He scoffed as he looked through the room and then at Madison.
“Um, would you like some tea?” She tried again, also remembering the biscuits she had gotten in the train some days back but forgotten to eat them.
Hopefully they would still be good, and she quickly moved to her bed, ransacking her purse trying to get ahold of the packet of biscuits.
“Give me a few seconds to put the tea kettle on…” She said, hurrying to the kitchen.
“Don’t bother with any of that.” He said, speaking for the first time and Madison froze in her footsteps.
“Oh! Well… you’re my guest. Wouldn’t you like some tea too?”
“I didn’t come all the way here to eat or drink Madison.” He snapped, making Madison look down at her feet, fingers folded together.
She always hated it when he used that harsh tone, and even though she thought after all this years she would have gotten used to it, she still hadn’t. The tone was just similar to the one their fathers used, and it made her feel useless… like she was always doing something wrong.
Madison felt tears welling up in her eyes but she pushed them back, and in a shaking voice still desperate to change the subject she asked, “How are you doing? What about your wife and kids?”
Honestly, she couldn’t care less about his family, as all she really wanted to know was why he was here, but then she had to take it slow.
One thing was obvious though… He wasn’t here to check up on her or go easy with her. She knew that something really important must’ve happened for him to come all the way here, but what could that possibly be?
Whatever it was, by the looks of things didn’t seem to good, and he didn’t look so excited to be here either.
Ignoring her question perfectly, Mason tucked out a couple of magazine tabloids Madison had not noticed him holding before.
Cursing out incorrigibly, he flung the papers at Madison’s feet, the cover openly displayed to reveal pictures of her and Damien.
Even as she stood, she could see it all. The disgrace at the dinner event. The club, the motel paparazzi pictures with Alvarez and as she stared at the tabloids, her lips fell open in shock.
No, no, no! This couldn’t be happening.
How had they seen it? The tabloids had gotten to them as well, but how?
Madison shivered as she tried to imagine her father and brothers reactions when they first saw this. She shook her head repeatedly as she looked up from the tabloids to face her brother, “Mason… it’s not what you think.”
He shot her a disgusted look, his temples throbbing with anger “Really? It’s not what I think? Well in that case please explain to me what the fuck is going on between you, and our family enemy? Damien fucking Daniels! It’s bad enough that he’s someone we despise, and then you went ahead to shamefully appear in these magazines disgracefully with him? Bloody hell!”
“It- it’s not like that!” Madison cried, “You’re taking it the wrong way. You have no idea what really happened and I can-”
“Shut the fuck up, Madison! Shut up!” He thundered, making her stagger backwards. Tears burned the back of her eyes, as she tried to regain her composure. How would she tell him everything that had truly happened if he wouldn’t even let her speak?
“Why do you always have to be so stupid? Just tell me why?” Mason thundered again, “You know our family’s history with him and yet you do this? You know we all hate him, and after all these years as if he hasn’t put you to scorn, you allow him do this? Tell me, what are you two involved in? What business do you have with him?”
A tear dropped from Madison’s eyes, “If you’d just let me explain…”
He scoffed, moving closer to her. “Don’t you dare even think of pulling any stupid moves honestly!” His voice was low now and almost in a whisper he added, “If you so much as think about it, then just know we will cut you off for good. If there’s still a drop of love and affection left for you anywhere in our family, I promise you it will die off completely.”
Drop of love left for her? Cutting her off for good? Madison almost scoffed out loud as she tried to decipher the meaning of his words. They had already cut her off. They rarely visited or called, and she was like the prodigal child of Mr Connor, so what was he talking about.
However, tears washing down Madison’s face as she shook her head, she tried to forget all about that as she said, “You don’t understand anything, and you won’t let me explain. I met him at this event… and I accidentally-”
“Just stop with your excuses, okay? It’s pathetic!”
The venom in his voice shook Madison to the core, and as she stared at him, she could see just how much he hated her.
Ever since her involvement with Damien back when they were still young, he had seemingly cut her out of his life.
The loving older brother she had was gone, and right from then there was always something wrong with her.
Madison, this. Madison, that. She was always either dumb or pathetic in his eyes, and he was showing that same attitude and hatred today too. He hadn’t even given her a chance to explain herself, just walking into her house ready to condemn her and see faults.
Her chest heaved as she felt a sudden anger creep into her and swiping her hand, across her teary eyed face she began, “What did I ever do to you? Why do you hate me so much? You, dad even Michael … all of you!” Tears streamed down in torrents but Madison didn’t bother to wipe them away this time, “You lots tossed me out in the streets, disowned me completely and now you claim to have an ounce of love for me? I never call to ask for anything, any favors whatsoever and it’s been so many years since you visited or we even see each other. Now, you come after all these while, and you still talk to me this way? You still despise me…” Her voice broke, “You hate me, Mason. I can see it in your eyes, I can feel it all around you. W-why is that why…”
If she was expecting him to feel any iota of remorse she was already in for a shock, because Mason only glared at her in contempt.
“Oh I hate you right? You want to know why I hate you?” He began, “Take a look in the fucking mirror. You’re a sick excuse of a sister. You don’t even deserve to bear the name Connor. You’re a disgrace… to yourself and to your family. I can’t even stand to look at you. You disgust me.” He spat at her feet, shaking his head.
Madison’s eyes stung and she bit her tongue to stop herself from sobbing.
“You brought shame onto our family, you practically ruined all our lives because of your stupidity! Ruined our family, ruined our name, the family business as well because of the scandal. And this all because you’re a fucking slut, who couldn’t keep herself under control!”
Madison was crying heavily now, his words cutting deep into her. Her chest hurt as so many emotions ran through her, and she could see how angry he was, his eyes wild.
He walked closer to her, menacingly and with a sneer on his lips, “I warn you again… If you dare to pull any stunts, I promise you’ll regret it.”
“Oh no…” She broke, her hands stretched out as if to touch him but he scooted away from her.
Giving her one last glance over, he spat again on the floor and with that, he was gone, storming out of the house and banging the door behind him.
Madison fell to the floor in a heap, staring at the door, unable to move or do anything.
She knew she was completely alone, but now that piece of information hurt like hell.
They all hated her, everybody hated her. Including her own family, and if Madison thought she had felt great pain in the past few weeks, with everything happening but this… This was more than pain.
It was heart-shattering numbness, and she just wanted to float away.
Letting herself cry her heart out, choking on her tears as her hand moved to her stomach, Madison wondered if things would have been different with a baby.
What if her baby had lived till this day? She wouldn’t have to be alone, and maybe she would have been better off than she was right now.Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.
Maybe she would have been happier.
Another heavy blow to her chest, Madison became riddled with the feeling that she knew that she would never experience this, or ever know what it would feel like.
She would never be able to get pregnant again, and she would never be able to hold her own child in her hand ms again.
At this point it seemed like all she attracted to herself was pain, heartache and she was tired of it all.
She was so so tired…
…….
Damien raked a hand through his disheveled hair, as he took another sip of the whiskey in his hand.
He had decided to come home earlier than normal, so he would be able to rest his head for a while.
Alvarez’s revelation about Madison leaving, kept replaying in his head like a loop and he wasn’t quite sure how to feel about it.
Why now? Why did she have to leave, only when he was realizing his subtle mistakes? He wondered.
He wanted to talk to her… he needed to but he had taken so long to get his pride over with, and now that he was finally ready she was gone.
Worse still, he had no idea how to get to her. Even if his private investigator found out her current location, what could he do about it? It’s not like he could fly to London or…
He shut his eyes tightly as the thought came to mind.
Madison was not some ordinary person in his life, and there was a time he would do anything for her. So what if… what if he did fly to London? What if he did go back to that place, that haunted him madly? What if he returned to the past?
He needed to talk to her, and he didn’t know why but he was having a nagging feeling that there were so many things he needed to resolve with her, and the first step would be having a conversation to foster things.
If flying to London was the only way to do that then…
No!
“No, no!” Damien muttered, shaking his head.
London! Only the name of that city felt bitter, and he just couldn’t go back there.
Pain squeezed his insides at the thought of going back to that city, and revisiting his past just like he had thought earlier.
He just…couldn’t. His years there had been the very worst in his life, and every single place he would look at, everywhere he would pass would hold a bad memory.
Memories that he longed to forget. Memories of poverty, of pain, of hunger and suffering… he couldn’t.
When he had gotten the opportunity to leave back then, he had done so without a second thought, and Damien remembered the promise he had made to himself to never, ever go back there.
Taking a deep breath to steady himself, he pondered on the entire situation. What was he to do? What could he possibly do to get to her? As different thoughts raced through his mind, he immediately stood from the stool he was sitting in as he recalled something.
Of course, there was something he had completely forgotten about. The mail from Mr Rudiger.
Damien sighed… He had told his private investigator that he would have a look at it, but he hadn’t gotten round to it due to how busy he had been. Snatching up his phone from his dresser, he scrolled through it, tapping on the mail once again.
As he clicked on the first attachment and waited for it to load, his phone screen suddenly turned dark to reveal an incoming call.
As soon as he saw the caller ID he let out a loud hiss, annoyance raging through him.
It was Katherine!
Why couldn’t she just let him be? She always made an entrance at the wrong time, interrupting him especially when it had to do with something important and now as he thought of what had happened in his office earlier, he was becoming more angry.
He clicked on the red button, ending the call before it could ring for too long.
He knew that she would still call back a million times ready to start nagging again, and Damien didn’t want that at all.
Not even caring about the mail again, he switched his phone off and tossed it back on the nearby table.
He needed peace and quiet for a while, and also he didn’t feel like seeing or talking to anyone right now, least of all Katherine. His patience was too thin for that now.
Sighing again, he stood, tugging off his tie and slipping out of his work clothes as he stepped into the bathroom.
A shower and a hot cup of coffee would do a lot of good now.