Divorce to Destiny: Reclaiming My CEO Husband

66 I Trust No One (Winona)

Wanting to believe everything will be okay and actually believing it are two different things. Inside me the doubt and stress over Abby's health is ever present. If it was only that, I'd probably cope better.

But I'd be incredibly stupid to think that all is going to be rosy with Judy and Ashlyn. We may get a six-month respite, though I doubt it will last that long, but they will both just be planning their next step to remove me from their lives.

My emotions are fraught with the thought of losing Abby to something I have no control over. I need to make sure every second here is worth it for her. We've been here a week and Jayden and I are out tidying my garden while she naps. "I'm considering home-schooling Abby." I say as he pulls weeds.

"Why?"

"I have a lot of time on my hands, and it would be easier on her." I clip half-heartedly at the unruly hedge.

Jayden wipes his hands on his denim shorts. "It might be easier, but I think it would also be limiting."

"There's a lot more I can do than a school does. Plus, I can stay with her."

"Exactly."

"Do you have a point?"

"You can stay with her and that's what this is really about." Jayden takes my hand. "I get that you don't want to let her out of your sight but every kid needs social activity."

"I can take her to meet other kids, play with them, do activities." I protest and remove my hand from his. "Winona, this is your choice. I'll support you, but we have to think of Abby. A lot of her life is going to be in the hospital. She needs to feel like she has a life outside of that and us."

"But we can keep her safer."

"We can also give her social anxiety and lack of self-confidence."

I hear what he's saying. I pause.

I can't help the tears falling down my cheeks. Trying to do the right thing for her is emotionally crippling me. I'll be as bad as Judy with Jayden at this rate.

"We're both here for Abby. To give her a taste of a more normal lifestyle. To focus on things kids should be focusing on at her age. School with other kids is a part of that."

"I know. I just can't shake the feeling that something awful will happen to her."

"Maybe the only way to shake that feeling is to work through it by doing it."

1 nod. "Maybe I need therapy."

"Except you wouldn't trust the therapist.

Tee Trust No One

We both give a small laugh. I can't afford to have Jayden be my only support here though, it's too dangerous with my feelings for him. I've left a new cell phone with Lisa and I have a new one. We'll be in contact secretly. She is one person I do trust, her and Anne.

But I want to give Anne some peace. It's been a rollercoaster ride for her.

"Let's just do this bit by bit," Jayden suggests.

I nod, "like eating an elephant."

"You always said that."Contentt bel0ngs to N0ve/lDrâ/ma.O(r)g!

We both look at each other.

You remember?"

He nods. "I actually do. For some reason, being here, things are drifting back."

"Do you want to know about us, our time here?" I don't want him to think I'm trying to persuade him to believe anything one way or the other.

Jayden nods. "I think so. Then at least I can separate what's real and what's not. Try anyway. Do you know of anything so terrible I'd want to block it out?"

I shake my head. "If there is anything, it wasn't anything I knew of."

"My specialist says it's quite possible there was no big event, it's just I'm not ready yet. But it eats at me at little. The not knowing."

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"We came here for a night after we married in Vegas. So young, so happy, and ridiculously naïve."

"I guess youth really is wasted on the young."

"Santa Monica is where we planned a future, hoping for a family. You told your mother that you'd give up your position and inheritance for a quiet and normal life with me. You bought the property for us. I wanted something a lot more low-key, but you always did you, back then."

He smiles. "I know how much we loved each other."

"But now we have something more important to protect, Abby. The miracle baby we never thought would happen. Rather than a rush of information, when you think you remember something, ask me."

"Yes, a rush of information is the worst. Hurts so bad. The night of the drugging, when we were together and conceived her. I had such a rush of feelings and emotions. It literally hurt my head for weeks. I wanted to trust how I felt but I was too scared."

I nod. "I mean the drugs in your system were as much a surprise to me as they were to you. I didn't know how they got there. Maybe the one thing you needed to remember was that I could never lie to you. You always knew and called me out for it."

"I wish I knew that then. Mother was really convinced was you. I'm sorry for treating you like Greg treated her all those years. Becoming like him twisted my mind up even more."

"I'm not saying that I understand your mother, but I can see how she'd be suspicious of me. I thought it. was something she'd do just to get you away from me Her or Ashlyn." 61 Trust No One

"You think mother would do that?"

"Yes. But, I don't think she'd put your life in danger like our car accident though."

"Me neither. According to the report, it was just an accident, oil on the road. Could have happened to anyone."

Oil? "I never knew that. After a year in a coma, I wasn't thinking about how the accident happened. I just remember the car veering: the rest is black. I wanted to come and find you." "A year is a long time."

"It is. But it was for both of us. You had a year of not knowing I existed. You had to rebuild yourself from: scratch."

"I wish I'd never lost that part. It seems you're the only one who has been honest all the way along. Apart from leaving when you were pregnant. But that was the right choice." "I'd do it all over again. I will if I have too."