Chapter 418
418 Irreparable Damage (Jayden)
But Lance had to see his mom's slow decline into depression before she finally ended things herself too. He had no other family he knew of and a shit ton of money.
So, we just became best friends, and then we met Winona and Lisa. We became each other's family when he didn't have one of his own, and I guess I didn't realize how much that bond had shaped us both until
now.
Lance and I bonded over our shared, fucked-up parent issues, and it made us inseparable. My mother might have been dysfunctional in her love, but at least she stood by me. He never had anyone.
Only us four friends hanging out and doing life. We were the ones who helped each other survive high school, then college, through all the madness of growing up.
We were just kids then, thinking we could save each other and the world. But adulthood and this betrayal make those bonds fragile.
But none of that changes what he did. It makes it worse. I glare at him, refusing to soften. "You don't get to make this about some twisted way of giving back. You took advantage of her vulnerability, and you knew what it would do to me." He looks down, a shadow passing over his face. "I know. I know, and I'm not asking for your understanding. But don't hold this against her. She didn't do anything malicious. She didn't want to hurt you by being with me."
My anger flares. "You think you get to decide how I feel about her?"
"No," he says, his voice gentle but firm. "But I do know she loves you. More than anything. She's terrified of losing you, Jayden."
"Yeah?" I snap, crossing my arms. "And how am I supposed to believe that when she didn't tell me the truth? When she kept secrets from me?"
I see Lance's anger fire inside him. "Geezus, man! Like you've never had a secret from her. I could go to her now and reel off a hundred things she doesn't know about you. But I won't. You always have to make everything about yourself." "So now it's my fucking fault? That's rich!" I yell back, the heat burning in my gut. We've had fights before, but never like this. Never with so much at stake.
"It's not your fault, it's nothing to do with you. Don't you see, life is never about you. It's about everyone around you. Pull your head out of your ass and see it from Winona's side."
"I do see her side. I knew she needed that week. But it's the fact that she was with you that cuts me deep. That you could think so little of us..." My voice breaks, and I clench my fists, trying to hold onto the anger so I don't crumble.
"I fucked us up. I did. I can't change it. But I am sorry. I just want you to not let what I did wreck your family. These kids are amazing; none of this is their fault."
I stare at him knowing he's right.
Jayden, you know how fucked up a broken family makes you. Look at us?" His voice wavers, a rare crack in his usually irreverent facade. "Don't do that to them The vulnerability is there, and I hate that it's almost enough to get through to me. Almost.NôvelDrama.Org content.
"Don't give me advice on how to run my life. Clearly, you're the one who needs to sort out your own shit. You're going to die an old and lonely man at this rate, Lance." "Lonely maybe. Not old."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I demand, narrowing my eyes. There's something off in his tone, a heaviness that doesn't match his usual bravado.
He shakes his head, and his shoulders slump. "Just don't be too quick to throw everything away. You've both been through hell, and maybe you need time, but don't let this ruin what you have. Just talk to her, hear her. There're bigger things right now than this crap with us."
Part of me wants to listen, wants to believe that he's trying to make amends.
But the anger is still too raw, the betrayal too fresh for me to mellow toward him. We used to have each other's backs, but now, every word he says feels like a dagger in mine. "Get out," I say, my voice like ice. "I can't deal with you right now."
He looks at me, his blue eyes full of regret, and for a moment, I almost think he's going to say something else. But he just nods, his shoulders sagging, and walks to the door.
Before he leaves, he pauses, his hand on the doorknob. "I know I've lost you, Jayden. And I'm sorry. But don't lose her too. Not over this. Find a way to make it work." "Goodbye, Lance."
The door clicks shut behind him, and I'm left standing in the empty suite. He's right about one thing-I have a lot to think about. I do need to talk with Winona. I want to find a way past this.
I'm not giving my mother what she wants. Not this time. It's time to get her out of my life for good. I'm hoping Winona can help me do that. I'm hoping she still wants to try despite the stupidity I spewed out of my mouth at her. But forgiving Lance? Not possible.