CHAPTER 73
LOGAN’S POV
Oh goddess. I was such a fool! A fool!!! I punched my hand into the wall of my room. I really didn’t mean what I had said about Heather. How could I marry her when we were no longer together? I didn’t mean it, I just wanted to spite Audrey. I thought she had ‘really’ kissed Ares!
‘After this war, I would reject you, King Logan’. Her words resounded in my head, and my heart thumped painfully.
What was I going to do now? I couldn’t afford to lose her, I’d go crazy.
“Pacing back and forth wouldn’t solve any issue.” I didn’t need to look back to know it was Isla. “Logan, do you have a problem with not messing things up?”
“I think I do.” I admitted with a low sigh. “I would go crazy if she leaves me, Isla.”
“Then you should be thinking of ways to fix things.”Please check at N/ôvel(D)rama.Org.
“It’s beyond that now!” I pulled my hair in frustration. “Audrey looked me in the eye, and told me she hates me. She promised to reject our me!” I rushed out, unable to keep my shaky hands in place.
“Logan calm dooowwwnn! You’re shaking so badly.” She walked up to me and hugged me from behind. It was safe to say that Isla and Ryan were the only ones I had now. My entire family were pissed at me, including Liam. “Listen to me.” She pulled away, and made to turn me to herself. “I don’t care what may have happened. This thing between you both has to work, because I wouldn’t sit back and watch you die of heartache.” She smiled. I really didn’t know how she was capable of smiling at this point. “How does it feel, to know that she never actually cheated on you?”
“You knew?” I looked at her in disbelief.
“Yeah. During our first conversation, I had asked if she had cheated on you, and she outrightly disagreed. I couldn’t pick a lie from what she said.”
“So why didn’t you tell me?!”
“A lot of reasons!”
“Like what?”
“For starters, it was never in my place to tell you something as touchy as that. She had everything right to talk about it when she feels she’s ready to.”
“Secondly, you were yet to get your act together. You probably wouldn’t have believed me, if I brought it up. Thirdly?! I didn’t even know the full story. All I knew was that she didn’t cheat.” She shrugged, and I felt my heart falling to the pit of my stomach for the thousandth time. I had thought about it all night, and it made me almost want to puke. I was disgusted at myself, at Sebastian. I hated him so much for hurting her. I hated myself for not being supportive when she had told me about it. I was so blinded by my rage, that nothing else just made sense.
Now, it all made sense, a bit too late.
“Your eye bags are so visible. Did you get any sleep the whole night?” Isla asked in concern, and I shook my head.
“How can I get any sleep in such an mental state? Isla, I have tied the past five years of my life to this woman, regardless of the fact that she was far away. I had marked her not just because I was angry, but because I was jealous. I couldn’t bear the thought of another man having her, when things didn’t work out between us. I was so obsessed with the idea of making her mine, which makes me wonder why I was such a fool. I finally had her again, yet I didn’t claim her.”
“I played with her feelings and emotions continuously, not caring how hurt I made her.” I paused, and released an exhausted sigh. “I can only imagine the pains she has been through all these while. It’s so funny how I used to think I was the one in pain when in fact, she was the one suffering the most pain.”
“Logan….”
“I’m such a fool. How could a fool like me, be a king? I can’t even properly handle my personal and love life.”
“Don’t say that now.” She softly chastised. “You may be incapable of handling your love life but trust me, I’ve never seen a more dedicated and wise leader.” She patted me on the back. “All hope isn’t lost. You still have until the war begins, to let her know how much you value and respect her. There isn’t a doubt that you love her. But you have to honour and respect her. Your disrespect stems from the fact that she plotted against you, and the fact that you thought she cheated on you. Infact, you were so willing to believe that she cheated on you, because her plot to oust you had already laid a foundation of distrust.”
“But thinking about it now, the love and respect you showed her in the past, was what made her fall for you. She was ready to give everything all up, because she fell in love with you. You changed her, you broke her, and…. only you can mend her heart now. You have to do all you can, Logan.”
“Yes.” I nodded in newly found determination. “Yes, I have to do all that I can. Yes. Yes.” First of all, I had to see her and apologize. A real apology this time. I didn’t mind if I met her kissing Ares again….. No! I did mind. But I wasn’t going to act so rashly. Instead, Ares and I would settle scores in a fist fight.
‘Literally fighting for her love!’ My wolf jumped in excitement.
‘Yes, buddy. Let’s bring the love smitten Logan to play. The cold one is just plainly stupid’.
I was excited for some seconds, until I realized this wasn’t going to be easy. There was a high tendency that she would still not accept me back, and the thought of that made my heart constrict painfully.
“Keep a positive mindset.” Isla said, as if reading my thoughts. “I believe things would surely work out.”
***
***
First things first, a wholehearted apology.
I poured some scented oil on my hand, and proceeded to rub it against my neck and beards.
‘It’s not like she’d give you the benefit of a sniff. Why bother?’
‘Every effort matters’. I clapped back at my rude wolf. The tides were really changing. I had always suppressed my wolf whenever he tried to speak in Audrey’s favour. Now, I was being the suppressed one.
‘It’s refreshing to hear you say that’. He taunted.
‘I graduated from stupidity already’. I glared in my head.
‘Atleast, you’ve made peace about the fact that you were stupid. I’d give you an ‘E’ for such efforts’.
‘Rude silly thing!’ I muttered, trying to hold him off.
‘Don’t try that! I need to see your show of apology to our mate. Don’t deny me the pleasure of that!’
‘Fine’. I scowled, before picking up the key and making my way to her room.
Today was a free day for the soldiers to rest, so Audrey was probably in her room. Halfway through, I purposefully increased my steps. Okay, I wasn’t sure if it was purposeful at all. It was probably out of tension. Goddess.
I finally got to her door and knocked lightly. She seemed not to have heard it, so I knocked again. More loudly this time.
After a couple of seconds, the door was pulled open, and Audrey raised her head to look at me. She had this blank expression that made my bones go cold.
“Good evening.” I muttered, fidgeting with my fingers.
“What do you want?” She asked, going straight to the point. I was tempted to say ‘you’, but remembered Isla’s advice to go slow and steady.
“Please can I come in?”
“No.” She bit back. “What do you want?” My face fell at her words and cold tone, but I quickly reminded myself that I was the cause of it.
“Please, can you forgive me?” I asked, and her expression transited from blank to even blanker.
“If that’s all you came to say, then you can leave.” She was about shutting the door on my face, when I quickly stuck my leg out, preventing the door from closing. Her blank expression remained, and that was when I became really scared. She wasn’t showing any emotions whatsoever. Had it been she could even glare at me, I would have appreciated it. But she wasn’t. She was really…. done with me.
“I just wanted to let you know that I would do anything it takes to…” win your trust and love. That was what I wanted to say, but I had to go slow and steady. “…. make you forgive me.”
She remained silent, and her expression still blank. I felt it was her way of asking me to leave.
“I brought this for you.” I released a low sigh and put my hand into my pocket. I brought out the key to my personal library, and handed it to her. She raised her brows, in a way of inquiring what it was. “It’s the spare key to my personal library.” I could have sworn that her eyes had lit up, but then, her expression was still very blank.
Seeing her refusal to collect it, I pushed.
“That is the request Logan made of my father. Father ordered that I give it to you. But I’m not giving it because I was ordered. I really want you to have it.” I quickly added. After some seconds, she stretched her hand and picked the key from my hand, her fingers slightly brushing against my palm.
“Anything else?” She asked, and I shook my head in defeat. Withdrawing my leg from the doorway, she finally shut it in my face.
Instead of feeling sad, all I could feel was determined. I had never wanted anything as much as I needed my mate presently.