Playing it Cool
Mandy
I held her, my child, my little girl, my princess, my Riley.
It’s been days since I returned home. Christian and I had barely spoken due to the turnover of the event. He lost his best friend, Aiden. And while I’ve been trying to get back to living the life I know here as Christian’s wife, it was obvious that a lot had changed.
Maliah seems to be always here. She’s been trying to ask me what exactly happened and if I wanted to talk. They had a therapist come in, but I wasn’t ready to say anything at all.
How exactly do I talk about it? What do I say about him? Do I hate him for being unseen when I see him? How do I tell them I don’t hate him?
I just wanted to hold Riley for as long as I was away. I just wanted to see her cute little face even though I kept thinking of Ethan. My thoughts were interrupted by the screams from the torture he was receiving from the boys with him in the room.
I stood from the bed and paced around the room, thinking and contemplating if I should go see him or not.
“What would people say if they found out? What would Christian think if he knew?” I thought about biting my lips and playing with my hands awkwardly as I thought of what to do.
“Fuck it. He treated my wounds too, I’m just returning the favor,” I said in my defense and took a first aid kit including a wet towel and a bowl as I got to the place where he was locked.
“Thank you,” I said to the guards who opened the door for me, as I walked into the welcoming darkness which had a small light shining through the walls and the old bulb there. I noticed where a small candle was and turned it on, bringing it close to his face.
He had been beaten, his hair scattered and there was blood all over his body making me gasp.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered like it would make any difference but I said it either way. I started off to clean his face and moved his hair backward with the towels while I rubbed his cheeks.
Writer
She brought her face closer to kiss his cheeks, but he turned his face immediately to stare at her when the kiss landed on his lips. She touched her lips and stared at him surprised while he grabbed her hands placing them on his face, while they gazed at each other.
“I brought some bandages,” she said and pulled her hands away as she opened the kit and started to tend to his sounds carefully. She was almost done with the few she could when he grabbed her hand and brought it to his face again.
“Tell me, you don’t feel something?” He rubbed her lips softly and she looked away immediately. “Say it to my face. Don’t look away,” his voice came out hoarsely.
“I love Christian,” she confesses, stressed by the question. She didn’t want to be confronted with it.
“I didn’t ask that Mandy,” he held the side of his rib which was slit as he looked at her with a few of his hairs blocking his eyes.
“You are not stable. You are dangerous,” she started.
“And both of us together is a whole volcano together,” she tells him, pulling her hands away.
“Christian’s easy, Love is supposed to be simple” She moved away from him, and he struggled and got himself up walking towards her.
“Love isn’t that easy, love is supposed to be complicated, thrilling, but not easy. It’s supposed to throw challenges at us and make us grow,” he took another step further to her.
“It’s not that simple, Ethan” She shook her head refusing to think about what he had said.
“But it is,” he paused.
“Who gives you adrenaline? Who makes your head crazy when they walk into a room,” he pushed her to the wall of his torture room. He rested his hands on it while she felt his breath making her turn her face away.
“And I ask again,” he paused and looked at her with a hole in his eyes that she picked him.
“Do you feel something?” He voiced out calmly
She turned her face staring at him seeing the desire to have her in his eyes while her eyes watered as she turned her face away refusing to be pulled by him.
“No,” she said and immediately bent her head moving away from him.
“You could use that,” she pointed at the first aid kit, but he didn’t spare her a glance. He let a tight drop from his eyes and forced a smile on his face.
“I have to go,” she walked away from the place, leaving him heartbroken as he forced another smile on his face, going to the door to stare at her receding figure.
Mandy ran away to the hallways where nobody was and fell to the floor crying silently.
“Why did it hurt? Why does it hurt so bad?,” She cried her eyes out, using her hands to clean it.
“Why do I care for him? He did so many bad things to me, he’s bad for me.” She tells herself, hitting her chest slowly trying to remind herself that she made the right decision.
“You fell for your kidnapper. Do you like him? You are so messed up?” Her subconsciousText property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.
“I’m not messed up,” she said to herself exhaling rapidly until she wiped off her tears before going back to the room.
~Ethan~
I tried to play it cool thinking I didn’t care when he made a move on you. I played it cool and kept watching you like an obsession. I thought I was playing it cool when I had a recording of your laughter. I thought I played it cool until I fell for you until I knew I was so in love with you Mandy. I thought I played it cool but all along I wanted you.
“Please don’t let go,” he whispered alone in the darkroom…