Leave Me Behind

I lose myself in these short moments with him. Dancing like our bodies have known each other for years. His scent rolls over me and I breathe it in. He smells like a crisp forest—in the morning, before the mist settles.

His mouth comes to my shoulder and I bite my lip against the thoughts that thrum through my head. Fuck him, it’s your last night for God knows how long.

At the start of the next song, Eren reappears with two drinks in hand. He grins mischievously at the both of us. I’m surprised he looks entertained with us dancing together rather than jealous. I stop dancing and embarrassment spreads across my cheeks.

Eren hands me the canned spritzer, unopened as promised, and takes a long sip from his can before shouting, “You’ve got Bradshaw out here dancing with you? Damn, what did you do grab his dick or something?” Bradshaw doesn’t laugh. Neither do I. Eren laughs at his own joke on our behalf.

“You’re okay with us dancing together? I was kind of⁠—”

Eren cuts me off, “All cards on the table, I was hoping you two would hook up tonight.” He shoots me a sly grin. Why does that make me feel used? I was supposed to be the one using him. His brows pull together as he sees worry clouding my eyes. “He has a hard time with women… you know, because he’s an asshole. I thought you two might get along.” He says it so innocently I can’t possibly be irked. Not when they share the same lovely face. Why should I care what lies beneath that?

“No shit. He should try not being such a creep,” I shoot back. Bradshaw’s fingers dig into my hips with the comment. I look up over my shoulder at him. He flicks his eyes down to mine briefly, his intentions unreadable, before looking back at his brother.

I was after Eren initially, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t more interested in Bradshaw. He has secrets and demons hiding behind that soulless expression he wears. Something damaged and broken being kept from view.

A sigh leaves my lips as I crack my spritzer open and gulp it down. Bradshaw moves to stand beside his brother as they exchange a few words. I can’t make out what they’re saying over the booming music, though. Then they look with bewilderment at the empty can I’m crushing between my hands.

“What? Expected me to sip on it?” I refuse to feel embarrassed about my drinking skills.

Eren laughs then slaps his hand on Bradshaw’s back. “You two go ahead and get out of here. I’m sure I won’t be far behind.” He winks at us. My blood pounds loudly in my ears as make eye contact with Bradshaw.

“Get out of here?” I ask no one in particular. The one-night stand I wanted is looking promising, but with the psycho brother instead of the guy I thought it would be with.

Bradshaw gives his brother a nod and Eren presses a kiss to my forehead before waving us off. Wait. Bradshaw guides me to the club entrance, where the music isn’t as loud, before I start to slow.

He looks down at me in question. The cold edge has eased from his eyes and I wonder if it’s because we both know where tonight is headed.

“Let’s go to my hotel,” I say boldly. I’m also going to make him check in with the front desk person with me before we head up. Can never be too careful. I’ve watched enough true crime to make any sane person paranoid, even if I’m trained to kill a man in more ways than anyone has the right to know. Bradshaw is one of the rare ones that has me on edge.

He smiles for the first time and it’s a sight to behold. Somehow it makes him more mysterious too.

“Sure,” Bradshaw says and flashes me that lazy grin again. Holy shit. He’s the kind of guy I would take a three-day vacation for just to fuck for seventy-two hours straight.

My cheeks warm as he takes my hand and guides us out of the club. He leads me into the dark parking lot before mounting a crotch rocket. I force the smile that wants to bloom over my lips to remain small. He’s certainly full of surprises. Bradshaw hands me his helmet and I raise a brow at him.

“You wear it,” he says sharply, almost annoyed that I’d even be concerned about him not having one.

Asshole. I shove the helmet over my head and sit behind him, wrapping my arms around his wide torso and locking my hands together. It’s not my first time on a motorcycle, but I get that same flutter in my chest with Bradshaw driving. He takes off at a wicked speed, maybe trying to scare me, but I just smile and let my head lie flat against his back.

The knowledge that this might very well be my last indulgence in pleasure sends a pulse of dread through me. But I’ll make it fucking memorable. I haven’t felt excited like this since Sergeant Jenkins cornered me against a shower stall when I was first transferred to Riøt.

We check in with the hotel clerk and head up to my room without any chit-chat. His lack of conversation makes the hair on the back of my neck rise. I’m keenly aware of the heat from his gaze as I slide the key card to my room.

I set my wallet down on the entry table, having fleeting thoughts of how stupid this might be. Admittedly, I’ve never fucked a stranger. But his hands smooth over my stomach, casting away any doubt I had as he pulls me back against his broad chest. My eyes widen. He’s already taken his hoodie off and only his thin T-shirt hides those abs. He dips his head beside mine and presses his lips delicately to my collar bone. His breath is warm against my skin.

He spins me to face his chest and lowers his head to mine for a kiss. I open my mouth to say something rather than going straight into it, but he lets out a sigh and gives me a pointed look. This close, his scars are clear, more defined and red. Fresh. Maybe a year old. Two, max.

“I’m not here to get to know you.” His voice is stern. Detached.

“Oh… sorry. I just don’t do this often so…” I trail off and look down. Heat spikes through my veins with embarrassment. He’s absolutely brutal.

Bradshaw tilts his head and guides my chin up with his hand, staring into my eyes coldly, like I’m a meal he wants to devour and be done with. My eyes trail to his ears where he has two black cuff earrings at the center of each. “I’ll lead,” he says placidly and brings his lips to mine.

In contrast to his personality, his lips are the softest I’ve ever kissed. His crisp forest scent falls over me and I’m instantly sucked into this moment with him.

It’s not a romantic kiss people dream about. It’s fervent and starved. Bradshaw guides me to the bed and dips me down to the sheets. He deepens his ruthless pursuit and our tongues meet aggressively. His teeth aren’t far behind. I moan as he bites into the fat of my lower lip.

He breaks our connection and leans up, pulling his shirt off and tossing it to the floor. I watch him through hooded eyes and admire the sharpness of his body. There are many scars that caress each divot, making me certain that he’s in the army too. The long grooves were from KA-BAR knives, I assume by the severity of the scars. Bullet holes have left starbursts on his skin. I want to ask him about them. I want to hear his stories. But he clearly doesn’t want to talk and it’s probably for the best. I’m going to be leaving tomorrow anyway. So, I admire him in silence and let his movements take my thoughts away.

Bradshaw’s eyes find mine as he slowly removes his pants. I lower my hands to my waistband but he stops me.

“I like to do it,” he confesses with a dark grin.

I swallow, trying to remain calm when my body is anything but. The throb of need in my core is enough to have me squirming, but I like the slow pace he’s setting. He likes to be in control and clearly something depraved in me finds that erotic.

He frees his cock and tosses a condom on the sheets for when we’re ready.

My eyes linger on his sheer girth. I expected nothing less, honestly. The assholes are always hung for some reason.

Bradshaw turns his attention to me now, lifting my shirt slowly and pressing kisses up my stomach to my chest. He unhooks my bra and pulls it over my head along with my shirt. He easily slides my leggings and underwear off after. My nipples pebble against the chill in the air. He lowers his lips to one while palming the other gently.

I writhe beneath him as he flicks my tit and mercilessly swirls his tongue around. He rubs his shaft through my wet slit, coaxing and teasing my core until my nails are digging into the soft flesh of his back. A low grumble vibrates in his chest as he lowers his hand and uses two fingers to circle my clit. My back arches and he pulls me closer against his chest, breathing heavily and dotting my neck with kisses.

He gently pumps his hips, rubbing his dick against my stomach and wetting my skin with pre-come. Oh my God. He reaches behind me and grabs the condom, puts it between his pearly teeth and slowly tears it open, staring down into my eyes unfazed.

And just like that he made condoms sexy.

Bradshaw sheathes it over his twitching cock and grins at me as he reaches down and pushes two fingers inside me. I moan at the intrusion as he rubs my inner walls, fingering my G-spot and smiling as I beg him not to stop. He pulls his fingers out before my orgasm can build further and shows me the evidence of my arousal.

“You see how wet you are for a stranger? What a good girl. Are you going to scream for me too? I’d like it if you did,” he whispers, but his voice isn’t soothing. It’s sexy and scary. Dominant.

Who the fuck is this man? I find myself wondering again.

He lines his tip to my entrance and starts teasing me, only pushing the head in before pulling it out. I can feel myself stretching for him, each thrust going deeper and penetrating small pieces of me at a time.

I whimper and the sound draws his attention back to my lips. He brings himself over me and whispers against my lips, “I like it hard.” His brows are pinched with concentration and his thrusts are so painfully slow that my hips move of their own volition, trying to get him to burrow deeper inside of me.

My core throbs at his words and I nod, drunk with lust.

I feel his grin over my lips and let out a gasp as he rolls me onto my side. He remains on his knees and settles between my thighs. He pulls my right leg up vertically with his chest. Good thing I’m flexible or this would’ve been painful. His cruel smile tells me he’s having the same thought.

“Fuck, your body is perfect.”

He wraps his hand around my upper thigh and presses the other around my waist. Then he thrusts into me ruthlessly. My cry is instant and I have to smother it by pressing my hand to my lips. The moans are just as loud, though. Bradshaw only lets out low grunts as he fucks me harder than I’ve ever been before. His muscles are flexed and working so effortlessly. He’s a god in human skin.

Those merciless eyes stare down at me shamelessly, enjoying the twist of my expression between pleasure and pain. He stops for a second and flips me on my stomach, then resituates himself back inside me before he drags his hand down the length of my arm and cinches his fingers around my wrist. I moan as he wriggles his hips and his dick stirs up my pussy. He fills me to the brim, to the deepest parts of my abdomen and it feels so fucking good.

So good that I hardly notice when he pulls my wrist over my head and pins it to the sheets and wraps his other hand around my neck. I gasp, temporarily startled because he’s completely dominating me, but he jerks his hips into me and my breath swiftly turns into a cry of pleasure.

He grinds further inside me until we’re flush and his pumps slow, pulling all the way out before pushing to the hilt once more with enough force to make me scream each time, over and over until my eyes are lolling. He has me gasping and crying out like this is the first time I’ve been fucked.

“Oh my God!” I cry as my hips tremble, coming all over his cock. He doesn’t let up. My next orgasm is already building back up. I’m not sure how much more I can handle.

Bradshaw drags his hand up my throat and to my mouth, forcing two fingers between my lips and breathing against my ear. “What God? Tonight, you only scream and cry for me. No God will bear witness to what I make of you.” My eyes flutter shut at his words and I suck on his fingers.

He chuckles and ruts into me harder. I cry out again, fisting the sheets and biting down on his fingers. He groans and slides his hand out of my mouth and down my jaw to angle my head back so he can kiss me. He shoves his tongue down inside my mouth and consumes me. Our hot breaths mingle as we devour each other. His thrusts are getting faster and his breath more uneven. My entire body thrums with the release that shoots through my flesh like fire.

I cling to the sheets as he comes a few seconds after me, pressing his hips into mine harder and wrapping his arms around my chest as his engorged cock throbs inside me. He’s all the way against my cervix and pulsing with each jerk he makes. I’ve never been so full and satiated. His teeth clench together and he grunts a couple more times before his body goes lax on top of mine.

Our breaths settle and he rolls us so we’re on our sides. He holds me close against his chest, cock still planted deep inside me. I’d be surprised if the condom didn’t break during that savage fucking. I don’t usually do tender embraces—only Jenkins was allowed to hold me—but since I’m giving myself this one last night of pleasure, I shut my eyes and enjoy it for what it is.

Bradshaw lets his thumb graze my side a few times in long, languid strokes before pressing a kiss to my shoulder. He slides his cock out slowly and I’m left empty. I want to talk with him and get to know him even if it’s just a little. But one look at his cold features has me holding my tongue. He has that detached air about him again like a flip of a switch.

We did what we came here to do. It’s written on his face.

Right. I get my brain on the same level.

I offer him a genuine smile as I stand to pass him on my way to the bathroom. “You were a good fuck. You can see yourself out,” I say with as much resolve as I can. I’d rather be the one to be cold about parting ways than him.

Miraculously, I stop myself from looking back at him one last time. I’ll never forget those cold eyes and his heart-stopping face. The scars that hold a million questions and stories that I’ll never know.

I shut the bathroom door behind me and turn on the shower, sliding in after I see steam rolling through the air.

It was a nice night. Tomorrow, I will be a killer again. I’ll shed the sheep’s clothing and be myself. Today was fun, though, I think as I lather my skin with soap. No matter how undeserving I deem myself of self-indulgence in things that bring me joy. I’d like to think my dead squadmates would encourage me to have a final courtesy before I’m thrown back into the blood and mud.

The door creaks as I’m lathering my hair with shampoo. I rinse my face and wipe my eyes before opening them. A flutter spreads through my stomach and a small gasp escapes my lips.

Bradshaw is in the shower with me, watching me with unreadable eyes.

“Why are you still here?” I ask, not sounding as cruel as I was going for.

The corner of his lip kicks up and he sets a hand on the wall behind me. “No one’s kicked me out before and I didn’t like it.”

I huff out a breath and roll my eyes. His grin only grows.

“I have to get up early, so…”

He bursts out laughing and it shocks me. I legit did not think this man could laugh. I squeeze my hands at my sides at the warmth that spreads through my heart just at the sound of his raspy laugh. Perhaps because, although he’s a stranger, I can tell it is rare. His laughter is unused.

“There it is again. It doesn’t feel good.”

I shift to turn away, but he catches my chin and brings his lips in for a crushing kiss. When he pulls away, his eyes are filled with curiosity and he studies my face intently.

“I thought you weren’t here to get to know me,” I say harshly.

He dips down and runs his tongue from the center of my throat up to my lips and kisses me a few times before murmuring, “Ask me something.”

A new heat throbs between my thighs. I let him guide me to the wall as he strokes his tongue over my collar bone, tasting my wet flesh and feeling every inch of my body with his hands.

I suppress a moan and say, “I was actually kind of hungry and was going to wash up before going to that diner we passed down the block.”

Bradshaw pulls back and assesses me, narrowing his eyes like he can’t quite figure me out. But he smiles.

“Damn. Rejected again,” he mumbles and raises a brow. “Want company?”

I break.

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